Grace to Soul
by angelofthequeers
Summary: At first, Dean wasn't sure about the whole 'permanent grace bond marriage' thing that angels had going on. But four years down the track? Maybe time can be his best friend for once. Rated M for obvious reasons, direct sequel to '100 Cheesy Destiel Love Situations' and 3rd in the 'God's List of Romantic Ideas' series.


**Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.**

 **I don't even know what brought this on – only that I wanted to do something with Dean and Cas again and this just sprang to mind. So yeah XD This is set a a year after Sam and Gabriel get together – whether or not the current Sabriel fic (Year of the Moose) is over yet is unknown and irrelevant.**

"Oh joy," Dean smirked when he opened the bedroom door. "It's that time of year again."

Cas gave him an apologetic smile from on the floor.

"My apologies, Dean," he said, patting one of Dean's shirts into place in the nest he was making. "I can't help myself."

"I know, sweetheart." Dean kicked his shoes off and crossed over to the nest, stepping into it carefully and sitting down. "I just think you're adorable when you're in heat and making nests."

Cas rolled his eyes.

"You think everything I do is adorable. And then you chastise me when I call _you_ adorable."

"I'm the big macho man around here," Dean said with a wink. Cas regarded him with a poker face.

"Of course, human," he deadpanned. Dean scowled at him when he turned back to continue lining the nest of pillows and blankets with Dean's shirts.

"Asshole," Dean muttered. Cas just smiled at him. "Actually, I figured you might be getting up to this. I passed Sammy and Gabriel on my way and your brother looks like he's been at it for a while. Sam won't stop asking him question. Poor guy doesn't know what he's getting into."

"Neither did you at first, if I recall correctly," Cas said smugly as Dean cackled to himself. His laughter abruptly stopped.

"Whatever," he mumbled. They lapsed into silence then, Dean watching Cas work at building the nest while his stomach churned violently. There was something that he had to ask his angel non-official husband (man, that word made him feel weirdly euphoric). And while he knew that he'd definitely get a 'yes' from Cas, that didn't make preparing to ask it any less nerve-wracking. After all, this was a life-changing decision – no, make that an existence-changing. Even dead, this would affect Dean forever!

"Are you okay?" Cas finally said, snapping Dean out of his thoughts abruptly. Looking around, he realised that Cas had finished the nest at last and was sitting back on his haunches, studying Dean. "Your heart rate has been higher than usual and I can smell the excess sweat that your body is producing. You're nervous about something. What is it?"

Dean swallowed. This was it. No going back now.

"Yeah," he croaked. "So I talked to Gabriel the other day. About – about you."

Cas' brow furrowed.

"What about me? Have I done something wrong?"

"No! No!" Dean hurried to reassure him. "I just…I had a good talk with him. About…about…y'know…angel mating. What it involves…best time to do it…"

Cas stared at him with wide eyes, stock-still.

"And yeah, he stressed about how permanent it was," Dean continued in a rush, words tripping over each other as he hurried to spill everything before Cas said anything. "But, y'know…we've been together for four years and I still can't see myself loving anyone as much as I love you, even when I die. You're the only one who really gets me and you've seen me at my lowest, after Hell, and you didn't jump ship, so I think I'm starting to get that you're not just gonna run for the hills by now –"

"Dean," Cas whispered, still wide-eyed.

"– so yeah, if there's anyone I'd rather be stuck with forever, it's you," Dean babbled on. "And Gabriel said that it doesn't matter when angels – or angels and humans, as frowned upon as that is now – decide to become mates. Just that they can't conceive or anything until mating season. I just figured it'd be a nice touch to ask you during the season –"

He was cut off by Cas literally launching himself across the nest into his arms and kissing him harder than he'd been kissed in a long time.

"You would do that?" the angel said, his blue eyes shining. "You would become my mate? Are you sure?"

Dean tried to pull off a nonchalant shrug to hide how much he was quivering in nervous anticipation.

"Dude, we've been sticking our body parts in each other for four years," he said. "And we had that 'profound bond' for two years before that. Loads of people don't even wait half that time before getting hitched."

"That's human marriage," Cas said dismissively. "That's nowhere near as binding. Dean…are you sure? Once we have mated, you can't back out. Nothing short of an archangel can interfere with a mate bond between two angels, and that's with the explicit consent of both angels involved. It _very_ rarely happens. And _nothing_ can break a bond between grace and soul, save our Father. Humans don't possess the necessary control over their soul to consent to such interference."

"I didn't just decide to do this to be spontaneous, angel." Dean began to stroke Cas' hair, getting a long purr in return. "I've been thinking about it for _months_. I just wasn't sure until I spoke with your brother."

Even now, four years down the track, the sight of that much raw love in Cas' eyes still made Dean want to curl up in a massive ball of unworthiness.

"I love you so much, Dean," Cas murmured, pressing his lips to Dean in a long, sweet kiss. "Mated or not, you are still mine and I am still yours."

"I know, angel." Dean was still running his fingers through Cas' thick black hair. "But I wanna. I'm never gonna love anyone else like this, so why not? You deserve it."

Cas looked at him with pure adoration and love in his eyes. Then he wrapped his arms around Dean and squeezed tightly, until a goofily grinning Dean had no choice but to reciprocate.

"What're you muttering about?" Dean teased when the soft sounds of Enochian coming from Cas' mouth reached his ears. Cas smiled up at him.

"Just how much I love you. The English language cannot sufficiently express the full extent of my feelings for you. Neither can Enochian, as a matter of fact."

Dean was reeling. How the hell was it possible for someone to love him _that_ much?

"What's wrong?" Cas said softly with a puzzled frown. Dean shrugged uncomfortably. "You don't think you deserve to be loved."

"I don't think that," Dean said defensively.

"After all this time…you still believe yourself unworthy?"

"No! Just…why the hell do you love me _that_ much?"

Cas narrowed his eyes.

"Why do _you_ love me that much?" he said testily. "It _is_ possible for somebody to love you with their very being."

Dean gave another uncomfortable shrug.

"Because you're Cas. I love you because you're Cas."

"And I love you because you are Dean." Cas gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "Now, are you absolutely sure that you want to become my mate? I won't proceed until I am one hundred per cent sure. Once we are bound, we can't go back."

Uncertainty still gnawed at Dean's gut. But, seeing Cas' hopeful face and the love in his eyes, he steeled himself. He freaking loved Cas more than he'd loved anybody else in his whole life – Sam excluded, but that was a whole other type of love. He was never gonna love anybody as much as his angel, and he knew that no one else would love him like Cas did. So really, the choice of binding himself to this angel for all eternity was an easy one.

"Course I'm sure," he said with a quick grin. "I mean, I'm nervous about saddling you with my ass for eternity but hey, who else would put up with me like you do?"

"I hardly think that I'm 'putting up with you'," Cas muttered. "But if you're sure…lie back, Dean."

Dean easily obeyed, settling back in the nest and watching as Cas stripped out of his coats and shirts and tossed them aside without a second thought. Now naked from the waist up, the angel crawled over to Dean and straddled his lap.

"One last chance, Dean," Cas murmured in his ear, slowly pushing the plaid shirt off his shoulders. "If you don't wish to become my mate then I'm giving you one last chance to say so. I want to be sure that this is what you want and that you're not just trying to make me happy."

Dean glared at him.

"You really think I'd do this just to make you happy?"

"You have been notoriously self-sacrificing in the past, Dean. You gave up your _soul_ for your brother. I simply want to make sure that you want to tie yourself to me forever."

By now, Cas was sliding his hands up Dean's torso, lifting his T-shirt up in the process. Dean eagerly raised his arms to let Cas pull the shirt off and then tugged the angel close, their bare chests pressed together.

"Fair enough," Dean conceded, his hands settling on Cas' lower back. "But I wouldn't do that to ya. You'd suffer more if I did it to save your feelings, being stuck to me for good."

The next minute, he couldn't breathe as the angel in his lap practically attempted to suffocate him with a kiss that he could only eagerly return.

' _This is it,'_ he thought as their tongues battled for dominance and Cas' hands rose to cup his face. _'You're gonna be his forever. No going back now.'_

If anyone had told him when he was younger that not only was he actually going to commit to someone but that someone would be a male angel, he would have shot them in the face. Especially if they'd mentioned the 'eternity' bit.

"What do I have to do?" he panted when he pulled away to gulp in air. Cas lightly kissed the tip of his nose.

"I told you years ago that angels mate by merging their graces. But you have no control over your soul, so I have to take control of the process. All you have to do is give me permission to merge our essences."

"How do I do that?"

"You will know, Dean. Trust me."

Cas paused for a moment but it was only to bring out his beautiful black wings, which Dean greedily ran his hands over. He couldn't think of many things better than stroking his fingers through the glossy blue-black feathers and revel in the fact that he was the _only_ person who got to do this to Cas. No other person got to touch Cas like this!

"Dean…" Cas groaned, grinding down into Dean's lap. Dean's mind sparked and momentarily blanked out and, acting totally on autopilot, he fumbled to unzip Cas' slacks and tug them down over his hips.

"Cas – angel – hop off for a sec –" Dean managed to force out. Cas obediently slipped off Dean's lap so that Dean could rid him of his pants and underwear, then he hastened to return the favour with Dean's boxers and jeans. With the both of them now completely naked, Cas returned to straddling Dean's lap.

"Lube?" Dean said before Cas could distract him again. Cas gave a dark chuckle.

"I don't think that we will be needing that, Dean."

Before Dean could react, he found himself flat on the ground, leaning against the side of the nest while Cas loomed over him with a wide smile. The angel then began to trail kisses all down his chest, taking Dean's nipples between his teeth and gently biting to send jolts of pleasure through Dean's body.

"I should take my time and shower you with love appropriately," Cas said, nipping and sucking on Dean's collar to leave a hickey while Dean groaned. "But I find that being in heat makes me impatient."

"I'm impatient all the time," Dean retorted, his hands roaming over Cas' back and ass. "Just hurry up and get your dick inside me."

Cas snorted.

"Four years and you are still as eloquent as ever."

"What can I say?" Dean grinned cockily. "I'm just that lovable."

This backfired when Cas smiled down at him warmly.

"Yes you are. Very much so."

Dean resisted the urge to make a noise of complaint. Even after four years of Cas reiterating that he deserved this love and he deserved to be happy, it was still a bitter pill to swallow. How the hell was someone supposed to get over a lifetime of being fucked over?

"Just relax now, Dean," Cas murmured against his stomach, licking and kissing. "I have you. I won't let anything happen to you."

"Why? Can something go wrong?" Dean said worriedly.

"I wouldn't let anything happen to you," Cas said firmly. "Now and forever. I will always keep you safe."

He leaned down to give Dean a sweet kiss, which somehow turned into another round of tongue-wrestling and panting and practically breathing each other's air as both were reluctant to pull away too much. But eventually, Cas was the one to end the make out session by pulling away and sitting back up. He reached around to fumble at the base of his wings.

"Oh…" Dean's mouth went dry and his heart began to pound. Cas hardly ever used his oil as lube – wanting to 'save it for special occasions', not to mention being told off by Gabriel for 'making the human stink too much' and 'being too possessive' – and Dean couldn't get enough of the times that he did use it, because being marked and claimed like that? Man, that was freaking hot.

"I think that this qualifies as a 'special occasion', don't you?" Cas said with an innocent smile. Dean gulped and nodded mutely, unable to form words. "Just relax, Dean."

He leaned down and, at the same time that he pushed a finger inside Dean, his lips closed around Dean's dick. Dean yelped and tried to buck into both touches at once, resulting in an awkward half-thrust up.

"Jesus _Christ_!" he shouted. Cas chuckled, sending almost painful vibrations through Dean's dick, and Dean let out a keening moan as his hips rutted up into Cas' mouth and down onto his fingers.

"I thought you might like that," Cas said, pleased, as he inserted another finger and pulled off Dean's dick with a wet 'pop'. "But I don't want you to come too soon."

"Then hurry up," Dean complained. "You're taking too long."

Raising an eyebrow, Cas scissored his fingers and then brushed them over Dean's prostate. Dean practically doubled over with a cry.

"Son of a bitch! Don't do that!"

"Then talk to me with respect," Cas said primly. He slid a third finger in. "You look so amazing like this, Dean. So beautiful. I don't need to be sexually attracted to you to see that."

"We talked about calling me that," Dean said, though with no real heat. Cas was never going to stop calling him beautiful – and in all honesty, Dean secretly liked it – but hey, he had to hold on to at least _some_ of his masculinity. Cas ignored him.

"Even if you do pull the funniest faces when in the throes of ecstasy," the angel continued thoughtfully. When Dean scowled at him, he simply brushed his fingers over the bundle of nerves inside Dean.

"That's cheating!" Dean wheezed. When Cas smiled again, he thought that he finally knew the true meaning of 'angelic smile'.

"Of course it is. And now I'm going to make love to you."

"I told you not to call it that!"

"I know." Cas pulled his fingers out, leaving Dean with that familiar feeling of post-something-up-his-ass emptiness. "But I don't care."

Dean shivered, watching Cas collect more sweet-smelling oil. Even now, years later, he still wasn't able to isolate any one scent in the oil; all he could smell was _Cas_. Then he couldn't think as he felt something slip between his legs, then slide inside him in one smooth motion. Oh God. He _loved_ this feeling of being completely full of Cas, no matter how much he might have balked in the past at having a dick up his ass.

"Cas…" he sighed. "Love having you inside me…"

Cas pressed a kiss to his lips.

"And I love being inside you."

He began to move; deep thrusts that weren't rough but still filled Dean to his very core. He hadn't even found Dean's prostate yet but Dean was already gasping, wrapping his legs around Cas and digging his fingernails into the angel's back while Cas assaulted his mouth with messy kisses.

"What – Cas – what do I –" Dean tried to say. Cas kissed him one more time before sliding lower and latching onto his throat.

"I have to – make contact with your soul." Cas bit hard, simultaneously striking Dean's prostate, and Dean made a strangled sound as stars danced before his eyes. His nails sank so hard into Cas' skin as he dragged them down the muscular plane of flesh that he left long red lines on Cas' back.

"Oh _God_ , Cas!"

"I could – make contact – I love doing this to you, taking you apart. And I love _you_ – through touching it but that – that is extremely painful. And I don't want – I won't cause you pain."

He and Cas had done this so many damn times but the pleasure and pure, hot lightning never got any weaker!

"Whenever we – we make love, I can feel your – oh, Dean, you're so perfect, so beautiful – I can feel your soul. So beautiful –"

"Quit with that – son of a bitch, Cas, _don't stop_ –"

The familiar heat was beginning to pool in his belly and spread spindly fingers of fire coursing through him. God, how was he supposed to last? And Cas greedily tugging at his throat and chest to leave bright bruises all over the smooth flesh was _not_ helping!

"So when you climax, I can – I can make contact with your soul. I can – Dean, I love you _so much_ – I can forge a connection between my grace and – and your soul. You just have to – oh, so _perfect_ – accept it."

Dean moved his hands, from where they were hungrily roaming over Cas' back, to tangle in Cas' hair and sharply tug him up for a rough kiss. Cas eagerly kissed back, working Dean's lower lip between his teeth and nipping until it was plump and swollen.

"Are – are you close, Dean?"

Dean made a funny whining sound in response.

" _Cas_ ," he panted, throwing his head back. "Cas, I – I'm gonna –"

When he finally came, scorching heat overcame him, as though he'd swallowed the Sun and it was reaching every little bit of his body. Then he felt something that he'd never felt before: a strange presence that seemed to reach deep inside him, tentatively brushing over his insides as though asking for permission. How the hell was he supposed to give permission?

" _Yes_ ," he burst out with a long moan. "I don't – how – yes – is that –?"

His verbal consent seemed to be enough. Before he knew it, Cas had sealed their lips together and warmth poured from his mouth into Dean's. Dean had a brief moment of panic – what if Cas was trying to possess him? – before he quickly gave that thought the boot. Cas would _never_ trick him like that!

It quickly became apparent that his fears were unfounded; he felt no loss of control during this orgasm that seemed to last _forever_ (or maybe it was over; it was hard to tell when he was still so full of _Cas_ ), save that of the usual loss of bodily control he suffered when climaxing. Instead, all he could feel was sweltering heat that didn't burn him and an alien presence that wrapped all around him, reassuring him, giving off a comforting air. It was _Cas_ , and Dean didn't know how he could tell; he just could.

But then something inside him exploded. Boiling white heat surged through his veins, filling every tiny cell in his body and completely blanking out his vision. It was painful – the heat was almost unbearable – but he was also filled with the strongest, most potent pleasure he'd _ever_ felt. Cas' grace – he assumed it was grace – was hitting every little bit of his body, leaving nothing untouched, and it was too much too much to bear…

Everything went black.

* * *

"Dean? Dean!"

The voice sounded far away. And concerned. Why was it so worried?

"Wh't?' Dean groaned, forcing his eyes open. A face began to swim into view above him. Huh. It was Cas' face. And he looked worried. Dammit, Dean hated seeing his angel worry.

"Dean!" Cas began to pepper his face with kisses. "You're okay! You lost consciousness after the bond came into existence and I – I could feel that you were okay but I was worried."

Cas' words brought everything rushing back.

"The bond?" He struggled into a sitting position, Cas' hands hovering over him. "It – are we –?"

Cas gave him the widest, most brilliant smile he'd ever seen on his angel's face.

' _What do you think, my human?'_ echoed in Dean's head. Dean jumped, though out of surprise rather than fear.

"Dude, did we just Vulcan mind meld?" he said.

"I don't understand that reference. But yes, our minds are now connected as a result of our very beings being bound together. I can teach you to block me out if you ever need privacy but for now, if you tell me to leave your head then I won't intrude."

' _This is so cool!'_ Dean thought. Cas chuckled in response. "What else do we get?"

Cas closed his eyes. A moment later, Dean was swamped by a confusing set of alien emotions; he could feel pure love, joy and peace, to name a few, but they felt nothing like the emotions he was used to. They felt…more divine, somehow. How could he describe it?

"That is what I feel every time I so much as think of you," Cas said, giving Dean a swift kiss. Dean blinked in surprise.

"Uh – wait – you –?"

Cas rolled his eyes.

"Yes. That is how much I love you. Indescribable, except through our bond." He grinned again. "Our bond. I love saying that. I love the reminder that you are now my mate."

Dean smiled giddily.

"Same." He grabbed Cas suddenly and wrapped him in a tight hug, tugging him to lie down. In response, Cas began to purr and nuzzle into him, draping a massive black wing over him and covering him in silky feathers. Only now…

"Cas?" he whispered. "I think – is that supposed to happen?"

Cas frowned up at him.

"Is what supposed to happen?"

Dean squinted and – yep, there it was. If he concentrated, he could see a strange white light behind Cas' face – almost as though…

"I…think I can sorta see your true form," he said slowly. "If I really concentrate…"

Cas looked startled. Instinctively, Dean reached out and brushed his mind across his angel's comfortingly, almost like caressing his cheek. Cas' eyes fluttered as he physically leaned into the touch.

"I didn't even think that that might be a side effect," the angel murmured. "How much can you see?"

"Not much. Just white light. And I gotta squint for that."

"I think that as the bond settles, you may be able to see more. Obviously not my full true form, but as much as is possible to see in my vessel."

"Well, what I can see is awesome," Dean declared. "I love it. I love _you_."

This time, when Cas purred and hugged him tightly, Dean could actually feel the love emanating from his beautiful angel. He grinned in response and tightened his arms around Cas. If this was gonna be the rest of his existence, he had no complaints at all.


End file.
